5:36pm September 27, 2014

Ever notice the way dentists forget you have any body parts outside your mouth?

I was just there talking about chewing gum a couple weeks ago, and both times I mentioned it, the person in the room would snap their head around and say “SUGARLESS!?!” And as soon as I said yes, they’d heave a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, years ago, I had to drink Gatorade, and lots of it. It was a combination of needing the hydration, the electrolytes, and needing the sugar (and the specific type of sugar, IIRC). And any time I mentioned to a dentist that I drank Gatorade, she’d try to come up with some way I could get the same things without actually drinking Gatorade. Which was impossible. But she would never let up on me about it, as if drinking Gatorade was the biggest hazard to my health right then when it was actually keeping me alive. Yes, tooth decay is bad and can be linked to heart problems, but none of that does any good if I’m dead of dehydration or severe weakness or something else.

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